So the last time I had talked in this, I spoke about fear of going to school. I talked to you about missing people I cared about alot and furthermore, my fear of the people I would be involved with. I have to say that those fears have become more real than I ever thought.

To start off, my classes are very challenging. Last year I really did sail through school with minimal problems, and now it seems like everything is catching up with me all at once. I feel smothered, often times I feel like its more work than I will ever be able to complete. Besides that I look around me and see people that have no futures, people that do not care about their work, and people who are constantly concerned wtih things other than thier education.

Second of all my house is terrible. Everything is falling apart, the plumbing doesnt work, the air conditioning is non existant, its hot, muggy, and we dont even have screens so opening our windows are not an option. Overall the experience there is not too good, and creates a pretty weak study environment. Needless to say, its not helping that much.

I miss my girlfriend too. I knew it would be hard going away to school and being so far away from her, and of course I was right. She is really special to me and I love herm and honestly goin through the stuff im going through now I don't know what I would do without her. She is having a great time her first year at school and im happy to see that she is enjoying herself. I just miss her. However, there are so many things that remind me of her, it is almost like im with her for a little bit every day. It always makes me happy to know that a thunderstorm, a volkswagon bug, or a koala named charlie, will all remind me of her.

Now that I have listed my complaints, it is time to figure out what I am going to do. I know that at the end of the semester I will be able to leave this place and find out what I would like to do with my life, but until then II need a plan. I need to go to the library more frequently, and get mcuh more work done. I need to take the time to realize when I am being distracted, and seperate myself from those situations. I need to realize that it is time for me to step it up to the next level and do whatever is necessary to do well in school this semester. I just need to get a grip on the situation, and take care of it.

You know my girfriend has always said to me that everything always works out, and shes right. If I give my best effort, it will all work out on the end. Sometimes you just look around and realize that the situation is not the best, but that doesnt not mean you cant make the best of it. I have to take the responsabiliy and move forward and do everything I can to make the most of this semester.