Picking Your Battles

Today I really want to focus on the idea of respect for your elders. It is written everywhere, and a rule that we have done our best to follow as people as long as anyone can remember. However, I think there is a time and a place where you have to stand up for yourself, pick your battles, and defend your opinions.
Time and time again I see people back to to adults because they feel that although they are right, the adults are the adults and that gives them a free pass to be right no matter what the circumstance is. Now I am not saying that you should argue a punishment for being out late or something like that. These petty things are so small in perspective that you really need to just let things like that go. In hindsight most likely you will realize that every punishment you have received has been for a good reason and you are a better person because of it.
What I am talking about here is the idea that elders can say what they want about you and you just have to take it. I do not care if it is a family member, or a stranger, or anyone, if you are offended you need to defend yourself. You can't let people walk all over you for the soul reason that they are older. Allow me to explain in further detail.
My family is the typical close knit Italian family that sees each other at least once a week. My mothers entire side of the family lives in the same town, and every Friday and Sunday we have dinner together. Now my grandmother on my mom's side, God bless her, has a very big problem with voicing her opinions. She really just says whatever comes into her head and she does not care who she offends. On top of that she does not ever want to be wrong and will argue to the death. Today I had one of the most frustrating arguments I have ever had with her.
Let me start by saying that I have had a problem with my back for the past few months but was not smart enough to ever see a doctor, recently I suffered an injury that re aggravated the injury. and it has only gotten worse since. I am at risk of losing my summer job that consists of manual labor, and without that money it is gonna be near impossible to pay my rent at my off campus house I live in at school.
So I am already upset to begin with and very distraught over the whole situation, but I still go to my grandmother's house with the family to try and forget about it. I was messing around with my younger cousins who I only really get to see in the summer, only to hear from my grandma that I am faking my injury, making my mom miserable, tearing apart my family, and so on. Now everyone tends to back down from my grandma because we all know her personality, and usually I would be the first one to do the same. However, I am not letting anyone tell me that I am faking an injury that has caused me so much pain and grief.
The result of this argument was my grandma telling me to leave the house and so I did. I do not plan on going there anytime soon.
My point here is this, in your life you are given certain choices. People are always going to try and break you. There is always going to be someone in your life who is trying to put you down no matter how well you are doing. What we have to do is know when to turn our cheek. The problem with us as a society is that people tend to constantly confront or constantly turn the other cheek. Every situation is different, and you can not possibly use the same rules for every individual circumstance. We have to asses each case as it arises in our lives. Then and only then can we truly decide what the right thing to do is. Now I do not know right now if what I did was right or wrong. What I do know is that I stood up for myself and showed my family that I will not be walked all over no matter who it is by, and for that I will never apologize.

Family..1st?

We have all heard the expression : Family first, everything else can wait. However, the truth of the matter is that for a lot of people family may not come first. As we progress as a society the divorce rate has seemed to skyrocket, and as a result families are suffering. Now it is more likely a marriage will fail in the United States rather than last. How are we expected to put a family first, if over half the families we have are in pieces?
This is not the only problem. Parents in this generation fall victim to the two extremes. Some are extremely needy. You see these parents time and time again. They are the ones that try to be the "cool" parents. If this means taking the kids out to MacDonald's every other day, so be it. These parents try entirely too hard to be included in their child's lives. The reason for this is that they probably did not receive much attention as a child, and are trying to make up for the lost time in that relationship. As the child gets into his teens, these same parents are the ones that allow the kids to drink in the basement, and sometimes, even have a drink or two with them themselves. Although in the here and now those kids thing the parents are the greatest thing ever, the parents have zero control over the relationship, and that will never end well.
The other type of parents are the extreme hard asses that don't give their kids the time of day. Now by themselves, these parents would not be too bad. Sure having kids work for their own money and cook for themselves and handle themselves from a young age is a great asset to have and will surely help them in the long run. However, with all the neediness displayed by the other parents, the kids are now starving for attention they do not receive at home. This will ultimately lead to acting out and sometimes even seeking negative attention, as long as they are being recognized in some way. Also, this cannot be good.
my point today is the following. Although family is very important to a lot of people, it is not the top of every ones priorities. For a good amount of people, a best friend or a significant other will always be the first one they turn to. This does not make them bad people, it makes them people who understand the people that will help them most in their time of need and be there when nobody else is. Ignore the stupid expressions, do whats best for you.